Growing Up

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Ephesians 4:15-16

Something strange has happened to growing up in Western culture—a lot of people just... don't want to. It's not only that they can't afford a house or can't land a stable job; it's that adulthood itself has lost its appeal. Why trade in a life of little to no responsibility for a life full of responsibility, for a mortgage, a marriage, and a 9-to-5 job, when you could just... not? It appears there's a real reluctance—maybe even a quiet refusal—to leave childhood behind.

The apostle Paul will have none of this. In Ephesians 4:15-16 he addresses the similar topic of spiritual adulthood. He does not want the saints to remain spiritual children. He calls us to “grow up!” into spiritual maturity; to take responsibility for our spiritual “growing up,” and to actively contribute to the “growth of the body.” Perpetual spiritual adolescence is not an option. This exhortation is a continuation of the theme of his call to us from Ephesians 4:1 to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called.” Let’s jump in...

Verse 15 begins with “but” or “rather.” This term is a link primarily to verse 14 in which Paul begins his call to spiritual maturity. He begins with who we are NOT to be. We are not to be perpetually spiritual children, unable to discern truth and easily led astray by false teachers. Spiritual children intentionally skate along the surface, never diving deep into their identity as God’s beloved children. Consequently, they lack discernment when challenged and are easily led astray into various kinds of false teachings that may “sound good” but actually lack truth.

Paul quickly turns to what we are to do. He charges the Ephesians and, by extension, us, to “grow up!” The context here clearly points to growing up in spiritual maturity.   

Paul provides some observations on this growth. He first tells us “how” to go about growing, then he tells us “where” this growth is to take place, and finally he describes to us “what” the objective of this growth is to be.

So, how are we to “grow up”? By “speaking the truth in love.” First, what does Paul mean in his use of “the truth”? This truth is the Word of God. True growth flows from a focus on the Word of God, immersing ourselves in God’s Word, shaping our lives according to God’s Word. God’s Word is to be the foundation of our growth to spiritual maturity. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” Apart from immersion in God’s Word, one cannot grow in Christian maturity; he or she cannot be “adequate and equipped” for Christian maturity and for God’s work.

This speaking the truth is to be done with an attitude of love. We are not to be judgmental, condemning, or condescending toward one another. The result of speaking in love is that the body will be built up in love. Sowing in love reaps a harvest of love. Love is to permeate our sharing of truth and the consequent growing up process.

As we are speaking this truth, we should ask, “Where or to whom are we speaking this truth?” We are to speak the truth in love both to ourselves, in the form of self-talk, and to one another, within the context of community. In speaking truth to ourselves we are to immerse ourselves in the Word of God, and by so doing remind ourselves of who Christ is and who we are in Christ. This is what Paul has done in Ephesians 1-3, reminding us of who God is, all that Christ has done for us, and who we are in Christ. As we focus our minds on the truth, as we rehearse truth to ourselves, and as we seek to “take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5), we are equipped to stand against the schemes of the devil. We are growing in spiritual maturity.

Regarding speaking the truth amid community, Paul makes clear that spiritual growth also takes place within the context of loving community. Paul addresses this charge of spiritual growth to the communal “we.” He includes himself in the charge and he includes all those to whom he addresses the letter. Paul teaches in verse 16 that the community of Christ can be compared to a physical body. The body is composed of many “individual parts,” with each part, as it “properly works,” supplying a unique function to the body. The church community functions in a similar manner, with each member, as he is “properly working,” contributing to the “growth” and “building up” of the body of Christ. This is where we “grow up.” We grow up in the midst of loving community as we are built up by God’s Word and each other. We grow up in the context of community as we receive the love and gifting from each individual member of the body. Our growth will be stunted if we reject active participation in the life of the body of Christ.

Finally, “what” is the objective of spiritual growth? Back in verse 15, Paul defines growth as maturing “into all aspects of Him.” True growth is manifested by becoming more and more like Christ, becoming conformed to Christ’s image (Romans 8:29). To grow up in Christ is to abide in Him moment by moment, to enjoy Him, and to manifest His fruit. According to John 15, we are to draw life from Christ only. He is the Vine, we are the branches. Just as Christ perfectly drew His life from abiding in the Father, so we are to draw life from our abiding in Christ. This is a heart issue. We are to fall more in love with Christ. We are to more fully reflect the character of Christ, to reflect the fruit of His Spirit. This is the path of spiritual maturity.

So, Paul calls us all to grow up into spiritual maturity. We pursue and accomplish this by speaking the truth of God’s Word to ourselves and to one another and by living and serving in community, within the church. As we do this, we will become more and more conformed to the image of Christ. Let us push on toward spiritual maturity as we immerse ourselves in God’s Word and actively live within Christian community.